Student Ministry Policies
The mission of the Student Ministry Team is "sharing good news with the next generation.ā Our dream is to see studentsā lives transformed in every way as they believe the gospel and learn the way of Jesus. The team comprises the youth pastor and adult youth leaders. The team leads the Youth Group, which typically meets on Wednesdays from 7:00 - 8:30 pm during the school year but also facilitates special events such as Fall Fest or the Districts Youth Conference.
To do student ministry in a way that truly disciples students ā helping them come to faith in Jesus and grow in their faith ā leaders must be careful how they interact with students. Student ministry can be complex. Students are busy and easily distracted. They are learning to express themselves, so things donāt always come out right. They are discovering who they are (identity), which can be confusing. They will make bad decisions occasionally. Students, or their friends, are dealing with many emotionally charged āadultā issues, even though they are still kids. They have big theological questions and are wrestling with big fears and doubts. Student ministry can get messy.
However, the potential impact of student ministry is huge. First, most people come to faith in Jesus as kids/teenagers. Let that sink in. Student ministry may be the biggest harvest field there is (Lk 10:2). Second, perhaps because of the complexity/chaos of adolescence, many teens are looking for loving adults (other than their parents) who can mentor or offer wisdom to them. Most teens know they need help and desperately want a place to belong. Student ministry can offer help and belonging. Third, spiritual growth that happens when youāre a teenager has an outsized impact. Knowledge, character, and spiritual disciplines learned in your teens impact the whole rest of your life. For these reasons and many others, student ministry is worth the challenge. Itās worth the messiness.
The following policies will help team members carry out this important ministry in a healthy and fruitful way with appropriate boundaries. Every team member must read, sign (below), and abide by these policies. Thank you for serving the next generation!!
To do student ministry in a way that truly disciples students ā helping them come to faith in Jesus and grow in their faith ā leaders must be careful how they interact with students. Student ministry can be complex. Students are busy and easily distracted. They are learning to express themselves, so things donāt always come out right. They are discovering who they are (identity), which can be confusing. They will make bad decisions occasionally. Students, or their friends, are dealing with many emotionally charged āadultā issues, even though they are still kids. They have big theological questions and are wrestling with big fears and doubts. Student ministry can get messy.
However, the potential impact of student ministry is huge. First, most people come to faith in Jesus as kids/teenagers. Let that sink in. Student ministry may be the biggest harvest field there is (Lk 10:2). Second, perhaps because of the complexity/chaos of adolescence, many teens are looking for loving adults (other than their parents) who can mentor or offer wisdom to them. Most teens know they need help and desperately want a place to belong. Student ministry can offer help and belonging. Third, spiritual growth that happens when youāre a teenager has an outsized impact. Knowledge, character, and spiritual disciplines learned in your teens impact the whole rest of your life. For these reasons and many others, student ministry is worth the challenge. Itās worth the messiness.
The following policies will help team members carry out this important ministry in a healthy and fruitful way with appropriate boundaries. Every team member must read, sign (below), and abide by these policies. Thank you for serving the next generation!!
Team Members:
All team members must be responsible Christian adults who care about teenagers and are willing to model the way of Jesus for them. They must be members of the church or go through the membership process. They must read, sign, and abide by the Student Ministry Policies. They must have an updated background check on file with the church before working with students. Background checks are updated every three years.
Communication:
Most communication between team members and students should happen in person before/after a worship service or during Youth Group. Online group communication will use email or the chat function of the Youth Group group on the Church Center app. As trust is established between small group leaders and their students, starting a group chat for your small group to share prayer requests, event reminders, etc, is allowed. However, get permission before adding someone to a group chat and make sure the discussion/language stays appropriate (PG) and inclusive (no bullying). Limit private communication (meetings, phone calls, texting, direct messaging, etc.) between leaders and students as much as possible. The old saying āthereās safety in numbersā is true for student ministry. When in doubt, invite another leader into the chat/meeting/call.
Remember that communication is not limited to speech. It is vital to be aware of your non-verbal communication, as well. If you say you care for a student but constantly check your phone or look annoyed, the opposite message will be received. When talking, sit up straight, lean forward slightly, make good eye contact, raise (donāt furrow) your eyebrows, write down prayer requests, smile when appropriate, speak clearly, and try not to fidget. Even if youāre on the phone, these non-verbal practices can be āfeltā in your voice.
Remember that communication is not limited to speech. It is vital to be aware of your non-verbal communication, as well. If you say you care for a student but constantly check your phone or look annoyed, the opposite message will be received. When talking, sit up straight, lean forward slightly, make good eye contact, raise (donāt furrow) your eyebrows, write down prayer requests, smile when appropriate, speak clearly, and try not to fidget. Even if youāre on the phone, these non-verbal practices can be āfeltā in your voice.
Safety:
Safety is a top priority. If you are ever in danger, call 911 immediately. Let the pastor know if you are uncomfortable with something. Drive safely to and from events, especially if you give students a ride. Be careful during games or other physical activities not to hurt yourself. Try to stay in groups as much as possible. Donāt stay alone with a student of the opposite gender. Do not date or even be flirty with students. Donāt be afraid to get help.
Discipline:
If a studentās behavior is dangerous or disruptive, immediate disciplinary measures are needed. However, a team member should never use violence or rough treatment on students (e.g., hitting or shoving).
- Make positive corrections: Instead of āNo interrupting!ā say, āOh, Aiden, we want everyone to have a chance to share. Letās finish hearing from Alex first, and then you can go."
- Buddy system: have a leader sit/stand next to the disruptive student or physically separate students until they calm down.
- Deescalate the situation: speak calmly, communicate your concern for the student, take a breath, suggest going for a walk or to another room to calm down, and pray/ask for help.
- Removal: If a student continues to be dangerous or disruptive after trying several disciplinary actions, they will need to leave. Let a pastor know so they can follow up with the parents.
Injury:
An injury might include anything that causes bruising or bleeding. In the event of an emergency, call 911 immediately. If a student is seriously injured, report this to the pastor for emergency contact info.
Evacuation:
In the event of a fire or other situation requiring evacuation of the building, make sure you have every student and make your way to the nearest exit. The building has three emergency exits along the north side (rear) of the building and the main entrance doors on the south side (front) of the building. Proceed to the parking lot on the west side of Festival Foods (nearest our building) and call 911 when you are safe.
Appropriate Touch:
Appropriate touch should exhibit a pure, genuine, and positive display of Godās love. Be aware of differences in age, culture, background, individual personality, gender, and special needs. Be extra careful with touch when you are in a private setting, such as a car or someoneās home, or when someone has experienced physical abuse. When in doubt, itās best to stick to a handshake, high five, or fist bump or avoid physical contact altogether. These are very important boundaries.
- Hugs/Kisses: One-arm side hugs are positive contact. A brief hug may be appropriate with permission (āCan I give you a hug?ā). Avoid extended body-to-body hugs or any kissing.
- Lap Sitting: Lap sitting is not appropriate for students. Rather, encourage them to sit next to you.
- Casual Touch: Gentle contact may be used on shoulders, arms, and hands. Avoid holding hands for long periods of time or being in any way rough.
- Back Rubs: Avoid giving back rubs or any type of massage.
Confidentiality:
One of the most important requirements for team members is confidentiality. Nothing breaks trust like finding out something painful, sensitive, or embarrassing you shared in confidence is now public knowledge. Do not share private details of a studentās life with other students without their permission. Ask the pastor if you arenāt sure if something should stay confidential. A big exception to confidentiality is when someone is in physical danger (suicide, abuse, etc.). If you suspect a student is being abused or neglected or if suicide attempts or ideation come up in conversation, immediately report this to the pastor.
Definitions of Abuse:
Physical Abuse: any physical injury inflicted on an adult/child by other than accidental means.
Sexual Abuse: any sexual activity by an adult or an older minor with a child or nonconsensual sexual activity between adults. This includes physical touch (fondling, touching of private parts, inappropriate kissing, intercourse) and non-touch actions (sexual comments or remarks, showing pornography, forcing the observance of sexual activity).
Neglect: failure, refusal, or inability on the part of a caregiver (for reasons other than poverty) to provide necessary care, food, clothing, medical or dental care, or shelter to seriously endanger the physical health of the child.
Sexual Abuse: any sexual activity by an adult or an older minor with a child or nonconsensual sexual activity between adults. This includes physical touch (fondling, touching of private parts, inappropriate kissing, intercourse) and non-touch actions (sexual comments or remarks, showing pornography, forcing the observance of sexual activity).
Neglect: failure, refusal, or inability on the part of a caregiver (for reasons other than poverty) to provide necessary care, food, clothing, medical or dental care, or shelter to seriously endanger the physical health of the child.
Signs of Possible Abuse (adults/children):
- Bruises, welts on face, neck, chest, back
- Unexplained burns on palms, soles of feet, back
- Delay in seeking medical help
- Afraid to go home
- Pain, swelling, or itching in the genital area
- Bruises, bleeding, discharge in the genital area
- Difficulty walking or sitting, frequent urination, pain
- Venereal disease
- Poor peer relationships
- Regressive or childlike behavior
- Injuries in the shape of an object (belt, cord)
- Fractures that do not fit the story of how an injury occurred
- Extremes in behavior: very aggressive or withdrawn and shy
- Frightened of parents or other adults
- Stained or bloody underclothing
- Unusual interest in sex for age
- Runaway or delinquent behavior
Responding to Abuse:
If a student comes to you with information about abuse, be sure to take their word seriously. Donāt deny the problem or assume they are mistaken. Stay calm and listen to them. Give emotional support, reminding them they are not at fault and were right in telling you. Do not promise that you will not tell anyone. Team members must immediately report concerns of abuse they have knowledge of or observe to a pastor. Appleton Gospel Church will take every report seriously and report suspected abuse, as required by law.
Pastoral Note
I understand that some of these policies cover situations so terrible that they are painful even to consider. However, we live in a broken world. Sin is pervasive and can result in great hurt, injustice, and abuse, even in the church, even with those who are the most vulnerable among us (kids!). In Godās call for us to love one another, we must be especially careful and thoughtful to love and protect our students well. We say it all the time: kids matter to Jesus. Thank you for helping us communicate this beautiful truth to them.
- Pastor David
- Pastor David